Yeah, you have your tribal tattoo and your piercings.  You’re wearing those jeans you spent way too much money on, you know the ones that are all pre-ripped and pre-faded.  Your hat is on all crooked and shit, and still has a sticker on the brim.  You drink Mountain Dew and eat at McDonalds (you’re lovin’ it).  But are you REALLY as cool and edgy as you want everyone to think you are?  If not, I think I can help you out.

pulp_fiction-bibleMiracle Whip motherfucker, do you speak it?

“What the hell are you talking about Lizard, Miracle Whip?”  Well, that’s what I thought too until I saw this commercial.

HOLY SHIT!  Who knew that Miracle Whip was so bad-ass?  Not me that’s for sure.  Dopey me, I’ve been using that old man condiment mayonnaise all this time just because it tastes better.  Look at those people at that BBQ, they are WAY cool!  None of them are eating anything with mayo on it, why would they?  Shit, there’s probably no mayo for five blocks around that rager.

“We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down.”

Are you fucking kidding me?