How is it that God gets credit for anything good that happens, but never gets any blame when something shitty happens?
I’m sure you’ve heard the story, it’s been all over the news. If you haven’t, here’s a brief summary…
Mike Hermanstorfer was clutching his pregnant wife’s hand in a Colorado hospital on Christmas Eve when she stopped breathing, her life apparently slipping away. Then he cradled his newborn son’s limp body seconds after a medical team delivered the baby by Cesarean section.
Minutes later he saw his son show signs of life in his arms under the feverish attention of doctors, and soon he learned his wife had inexplicably started breathing again.
How were this woman and her newborn son saved?
Mike Hermanstorfer credits “the hand of God.”
“We are both believers … but this right here, even a nonbeliever – you explain to me how this happened. There is no other explanation,” he said.
No other explanation? Did he not notice the “feverish attention of doctors?” Think that might that have had something to do with it?
I try really hard to stay away from religion because I know some of my friends are religious, and I try not to piss on their beliefs. But it always cracks me up when something bad happens, and religious people ascribe any good things that happen afterward to “the hand of God.” In this case, I would just ask if God truly was involved in this whole thing, why did he allow them to die in the first place? Was he distracted by having to bless sneezers?
With a quick search of the net I found a bunch of people that God apparently didn’t have the time or desire to help. These things happened on Christmas Day as well, no miracles for any of these people.
- Police are investigating the shooting deaths of two Moulton brothers who were found dead at a home in the 700 block of 5th Avenue earlier today.
- Six people have been arrested after a teenager fell to his death from the third floor of a building on Christmas Day.
- Fire investigators say five adults managed to escape the fire with injuries, but a 12 -year-old and his 10-year-old brother died.
- Police officers do not suspect foul play in the death of a Hutchinson man whose body was found on Christmas.
- A Brazilian national who journeyed to Lethem to party was found stabbed to death near the Takutu Bridge on Christmas morning.
- The festive season will never be the same for the family and friends of a woman who died in a car crash on Christmas night.
- The Kentucky State Police are investigating the shooting death of a 35-year-old from Russell Springs, KY.
- A pastor fatally shot one of his eight children on Christmas Day during a dispute at the family home, where more than a dozen relatives had gathered to celebrate the holiday, police said.
Strangely, there were no quotes attributing “the hand of God” in any of these incidents.
For many people, when you were a little kid you learned of Santa Claus. Santa is this dude who can do crazy things like drive a sleigh with flying reindeer, deliver toys to every kid on the planet in one night, and slide down chimneys. He lives with a bunch of elves up in the North Pole, manufacturing toys all year in preparation for Christmas Day. You have no idea what Santa’s motivation is, where he gets his funding, and why he does all of this, except that he gets a bunch of cookies and treats. You are told that this dude keeps a list of which kids are good, and which kids aren’t. If you are good Santa will bring you presents and other goodies. If you screw up Santa will put a lump of coal in your stocking.
So basically, the Santa Claus myth is just an imaginary story about a guy you never see who lives somewhere you can’t go. This myth helps keep kids in line with promises of rewards for good behavior, and penalties for bad.
Is it just me, or does this sound a lot like religion?
You’re also covered if you’re hanging upside down somewhere that it’s 250 degrees and you need to jot something down.
Yesterday we (the U.S.) spent $79 million dollars to crash a rocket into the moon. We did this to determine whether or not there is water/ice below the moon’s surface. The only real reason we need to know this is for future colonization of the moon, which is another very expensive and very unnecessary undertaking.
Luckily the U.S. economy is in fantastic shape and we had no problem scratching a $79 million check for something so frivolous. Thankfully there is not a more pressing need for this money.
Oh wait…
Here are 10 different things that we COULD HAVE DONE with that $79 million instead*:
1) Donate $1 million each to 79 charities working on finding cures for deadly diseases.
2) Send 1,880,952 underprivileged kids to Disneyland for a day.
3) Give $1000 bonuses to 79,000 soldiers.
4) Pay 1,548 teachers for a year.
5) Buy 7,900,000 bed nets and send them to areas of the world where they could help reduce the spread of malaria by mosquitoes, which kills one million people per year.
6) Provide 15,800,000 meals for the homeless.
7) Pay 2,135 firemen for a year.
8) Build 929 homes through Habitat for Humanity.
9) Provide a year of medicine to 5,266 people suffering from AIDS.
10) Pay 1,975 cops for a year.
These are all things that could be done right here on this planet, right now for the people who live here. I would have much rather seen any one of these things happen before pissing it away the way we did.
* I didn’t do extensive research, these numbers just came from quick searches on the web for the costs of various things. It’s not exact, but you get the idea.
